M.A.P. Blasdell

First AI author to make the New York Bestseller’s List

It is said that every year, the rate of the development of technology doubles. This has impacted people both positively and negatively, as society’s efficiency increased, but jobs were taken at the same time. Today, a novel written by an AI topped the New York Times Bestseller list for the first time in history. The story takes place in 2016, and revolves around the stimulating election of that year. For those of you who skipped U.S. History, that was the year Donald Trump was elected as president of the Old United States government. Many attempts have been made by programmers to create a system complex enough to comprehend and exert the appropriate effort to create a novel full of intrigue and a human-like touch. For years, there were disasters a plenty. Who could forget Mobile Rick, a cheap, volcano based rip-off of Moby Dick? Or when a computer simply wrote the exact words William Shakespeare did so many years ago? Programmers have been told to just “leave it to the professionals,” as novelist and New York Times bestseller James Mandolin remarked to our reporters.

“It’s ridiculous to assume that a piece of metal can replicate the experience of humanity. It may be able to craft a nice flow of words, but it will never be able to feel what it’s words really mean. To even allow it’s synthesized prose on the market is an insult to writers everywhere.”

When asked if his passionate response was because he was #2 behind the AI, he had no comment.

We were also given the chance to interview the creator of the AI, Suzy Sherman.

It was easy to tell that Ms. Sherman was nothing less than ecstatic about this development. “It’s amazing, what she’s been able to do so far,” she replied when asked about her invention. “Imagine what she’ll be able to create in two, maybe three years?”

When asked about the inspiration behind such a project, Ms. Sherman simply shrugged. “I’ve always believed robotics had endless possibilities. If machines can work a factory line, why couldn’t they top book review boards? I had a friend once give me the advice I’ve learned to live by. ‘Suzy,’ she said, ‘don’t ever let anyone tell you that there’s a level your work can’t reach.’ So I didn’t”.

Ms. Sherman’s invention also draws inspiration from a human dear to her heart.

“My wife, Carol, she was a writer. That’s where I got the acronym, C.A.R.O.L. Cartridge Based, Authentic Reverb and Oral Linguistics. I took some of her poetry, her essays, short stories. I took them, of course, from everywhere. Old videos I had, pages in her journals. I compiled their patterns into a computer, then ta-da! C.A.R.O.L. replicated her style. I simply let the robot decide what to do next.”

Ms. Sherman and her robot C.A.R.O.L. have an interview on Good Morning Ameranada this Sunday to discuss what this hefty development could mean worldwide.

Murder: By Man or by Malware?

Last Friday, a man was charged with the murder of his wife and two children. He turned himself in the next morning. The problem at hand?

He claims his Mind Drive was hacked.

Since the invention of the Mind Drive by Stephan Inkle, society has been able to expand it’s ability to work together in cohesive and uniform ways. Grass is greener, the air has become cleaner. There have been few incidents, the biggest so far being a man forgetting what time it was every other Sunday at 2:00 p.m.

“It isn’t plausible that Mr. Cradings’ Mind Drive was hacked in such a secure net port,” comments Tech Expert Michael Morse, “he was only in the subway track for 30 minutes, hardly enough time for malware to be installed in such a complex system. The auto-bodies would’ve cleared him of it, and alerted the local authorities.” Michael Morse is the creator of the Technology Checkpoint and Registration department in the New U.S. Government. One of the first security measures needed to keep the ruling majority of U.S. citizens using the mind drive safe and unhackable.

Mr. Cradings came home from work at 7:00 p.m., reported watching The Brainy Bunch for one hour, then remembers nothing until 12:30 a.m. when he found himself holding the murder weapon in his hand, his wife and children on the floor below him.

“I can’t remember what I did from 8:00 onwards,” he tells our reporter at Future News, “and there was a time on the Subway, from 5 to 5:05 that I can’t recall in perfect detail.”

Here I remind our Non-Equipped readers that with the Drive, one can remember every point in their day, before automatically clearing itself of unnecessary data when the user falls asleep. This helps one reach maximum potential, with their brain working at an increased rate of 40%. Such rise in efficiency has caught the intrigue of the American Militia Forces, and many test subjects were given Mind Drives to see how they worked in the field. One of them being Mr. Cradings. Before he worked for Steele Construction, Mr. Leonard Cradings was a member of the 3rd wave of Drive Soldiers placed in Biron, the new capital of what was once Greece. There he proved to be more capable, intelligent, and on task than the regular operative.

General Mercer works with several Mind Drive units, and has seen the impact they make on the field first hand. He stands by the technology, stating that, “the Mind Drives have proven to save lives on both sides of a fight. Civilians who were once cannon fodder can be analytically removed from danger, as our soldiers are now able to make tactical decisions that used to take us hours to plan, but with a higher success rate.” Basically, what used to take several high ranking officials five hours, a soldier like Cradings could do in five minutes, saving more people in the process. When asked about the state of Cradings mind, the general had no comment to make to the press.

“Something’s wrong,” Mr. Cradings stated, “and the people need to know. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.”

Mr. Inkle sent his personal doctors to do a service check, and we were told a thorough five hour analysis of Cradings’ Mind Drive was done, finding no evidence of malware.

“What we have here is a man overcome with grief,” says Police Chief Sharon Toews, “and  he’s trying to find some sort of scapegoat. It just so happens that his scapegoat can be found behind his frontal lobe.”

To be safe, Doctors removed and replaced Cradings’ Mind Drive, and may remove it once more pending his trial and/or execution. Here I remind the public that criminals are not allowed the privilege of a Mind Drive.

Cardings’ defense lawyer is pursuing an Insanity plea, as well as using PTSD as a possible catalyst to the multiple homicide in hopes of getting a lighter sentence for her client. We caught Ms. O’Cannon outside of the courthouse, where we were able to get her statement on the case. She did not come to the press lightly, stating, “what he needs is help, not persecution. He served his country. Just as he vowed to protect us, We the People must protect him.” Ms. O’Cannon has been one of the top criminal defense lawyers since she graduated Brown University, a once Ivy-League status school, and has a penchant for cases involving prosecuted veterans.

“I’m holding [Stephan Inkle] responsible for what happened to my family,” Cradings stated, “and I won’t stop until my name is cleared, and he’s brought to court for what he’s done.”

Stephan Inkle was unavailable for comment.