M.A.P. Blasdell is a midwestern writer attending Colorado College. If she’s not writing, she’s drawing, singing in the shower or taking walks (hoping to stumble across a friendly dog or two). She also likes to play musical instruments, and thinks the kazoo is an under appreciated weapon of mass destruction. She’s currently writing a fantasy novel. You can get in touch with her here.

Now, she’d like to share a message, just for you reader. Feel free to blush.

First of all: thank you! For deciding to visit this page, even if you don’t stay long. I plan to ramble for a bit, and hope you read. There tends to be a point to it once I reach the end.

Roombas are automatic cleaning robots that slide across your floor, picking up dirt and fur and other things you don’t want to step into. Sometimes they scare pets, sometimes animals ride them like noble steeds, staring at you from their in-motion throne as it cleans your living room floor. They’re practical, do you a service, and make life a bit more bearable.

Your Roomba breaks. You are heartbroken. It’s silly, and you don’t want to be in such emotional turmoil over a robot that is a hands-off broom and pan, but you can’t help the feelings of sadness that wash over you. You loved that dumb robot! It bumped into walls and sometimes tripped you, but you look at those memories with bittersweet fondness now. Like a duckling, you’ve imprinted on your Roomba, but it is gone now.

Do not despair, though. The company will repair your Roomba, instead of giving you a new one. The grief of people just like you has been so influential that iRobot, the company that manufactures your little pal in droves (you can find them here), fixes your Roomba rather than replacing it. They are giving in to your ridiculous request because so many of you demand it.

Oh, what lengths humans will go to in order to protect and honor that which they love.

So, I guess what I’m trying to say is: let me be your Roomba. Even though my words only reach you through an electronic screen, I hope my personality comes through enough for you to want my words as a fixture in your life. More importantly, that you look at what I do with fondness, even if it’s just as the little robot who gives you a break every once and a while. Now, let’s get sweeping.

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